Disgusting

Thats me. Disgusting. It's bad enough that I'm lazy, stupid, physically disfigured, and short, but now I smell terrible and my shower is only 8 feet away from me. But, because I am a self-destructing pile of shit I don't do anything to improve my current status. Originally by making a decision to not do anything, I think that my situation cannot get any worse, but actually all that it does it allow my current problems to fester and multiply. Way to go!

I Need A Haircut

My fat pasty stupid head looks like shit. I haven't shaved my head for awhile and now I look like I belong in a home for the mentally challenged. I am a waterhead who is walking amongst the rest of society pretending to be one of the regular folk. I need to go buy some diapers to keep myself from soiling my stonewashed jeans with the elastic waists. I also need to get some plastic kids car keys because I keep putting real car keys in my mouth and I feel sick from swallowing the blood thats leaking down my throat from my cut gums. I like to spend my evenings smelling my farts and smashing my stupid face into the wall in my living room.

I Am Disgusting

I woke up on my greasy, dirty, gross-ass shit brown couch today and realized that I would have been happier getting murdered in my sleep than facing another miserable day in my fucking useless life. So today is Saturday and I have a mammoth fucking pimple on my head. (I'm gross)
I didn't accomplish anything today. I think I tore my left tit off at the gym on Sunday. Because of this demoralizing physical setback I now am drowning my already shitty attitude in every possible form of obesity-inducing junk food that I can get my pasty, fat, sweaty hands on. My hands look like Jimmy Dean sausage patties with sausage links jutting out of them.

I'm a pile of shit.

Unfortunately I saw my face in the mirror today and because of this traumatic experience, I then stuffed myself with piles of food so I was barely able to take steady breaths as I drooled onto my fat stomach that was spilling over my soiled, smelly sweatpants.

I just took at break from writing because I had ordered a Stinger and needed to dump it down my chubby, unattractive grease-oozing face. A Stinger is a steak and chicken finger sub doused in barbecue sauce and blue cheese. Like I said, I'm fucking gross. I want to take a sharp knife and stab myself in my swollen, white gut and dig out all the hideous piles of cholesterol and fat that have entrenched themselves around my waist. Ugh. I'm near suicidal with self-loathing at this moment. Why couldn't I be victim on a home invasion and slaughtered by a pack of savages? 12 minutes until UFC 94 starts!

Why I Am Not A Father

I hate children. They have these fucking disgusting, sticky little claw-like hands that are always trying to touch you or your clothes, or the food you are eating. I swear if a fucking kid tries to touch my face with their fucking sickness spreading fingers I wont be able to restrain from throwing their stupid, oddly shaped, soft skull into a fucking wall. Chalk up another retarded waterhead who shits themselves and smears it on the window. Kids fucking suck! I hate the sight of them. No matter where I am, if one of those booger faced piss factories are nearby I instantly get angry and just want to put my size 12 through their stupid face. They fucking ruin everything. If they start fucking crying then that's it. I FUCKING HATE THEM! I want a vasectomy. You are not cute. Your little clothes look stupid. Tie your own fucking shoes you little fucks! I want to smash you with my truck. I just want to pick you up around the waist and smash your dumb drool covered face into the floor like I was hammering nails with your ugly head. Your toys are stupid. Here's some battery acid, go ahead and drink it. Enjoy your stupid little coffin. Everyone in your kindergarten class hated you anyway. You're a bitch. Jesus hates you. Santa wishes you were dead. Your mother's a prostitute and no one knows who your dad is. Who the fuck would admit to producing you anyway. You're a fucking disgrace. Come over here I want to shit on you.
Seriously keep your fucking kids away from me. I want to know how far my fist will go into a kids face if I propped them up against a wall and punched them as hard as I could. Parents, if I hear you speak in "baby talk", I'm going to snap your stupid kids neck. Well, that's all for now. Have as nice day. Blow it in her mouth and we won't need to have this talk again. Kill Yourself.

Eat A Bag of Dicks

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Lick My Ass

Eat Shit and Die you fucking miserable cunt. Next time I see a man who is shorter than me puffing his chest out and sauntering (that's right, I said sauntering) around the gym with his poorly dyed hair and light gray sweatpants that are one size too small, I'm going to nail his fucking retarded old ass into the fucking floor with a 100 lb. weight. You aren't fooling anyone! You are a chubby, middle-aged, Viagra popping loser! I swear just because you are divorced and hang out at bars doesn't mean that you are a "catch"! Fuck Off! Take you flaccid old penis and shove it in your own ass you saggy boobed bitch. Even worse is the fucking creeps with "rugs" on their bald heads who look like a fucking character from The Muppets. YOU ARE PATHETIC! I Love watching you try and dance at night clubs with your tapered jeans and your light brown leather braided belts with matching loafers. You are a complete fucking bag of shit. By all means buy all the 20 year old whores drinks all night and watch them come home with me. Guess you shouldn't have taken that 100mg's of Levitra after all you faggot. Enjoy your heart attack with that useless boner. I got a better idea go get tickets for the Eddie Money concert, sip a Heineken, get into your Corvette and smash into a gas station and blow yourself up. I Fucking Hate You. Eat a bag of dicks you cocksucker.

I'm Going to Drop A Barbell on Your Greasy Face

AAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGH I am so fucking pissed right now! I thought writing was supposed to be a way to release undesirable feelings and relieve stress? Maybe I should just eat another buttermilk biscuit and go on a shooting rampage. By the way, here's a message to that Arab dude at my gym who wears really small t-shirts so that I can see the supple shape of his gross, fat man boobs and takes a bath in cologne before he comes to the gym, and walks around like we can't put his arms down, and uses horrible technique when he lifts and wonders why he's still the same fucking scrawny- yet chubby pussy who should be dead; I FUCKING HATE YOU! This fucking nut sucker WANTS to "look" like a gym rat in the worst way. The absolute worst thing about this fucking crotch drip is that I need him to be there. Why? Because when this piece of shit is at the gym I notice that I walk out of there having experienced some very satisfying workouts. It's because I get so fucking mad at this dude that I workout like Ted Bundy running around an all female nudist colony.
I really mean that I fucking hate this fucking creep. By the way, I go to the Fitness Factory which is easily the best gym in Western New York in terms of old-school weightlifting. Now the vast majority of members at this place are the perfect type of people that I like to see in the gym. They come to lift weights! There is no fucking yoga, spinning, or aerobics. Those fucking classes just ooze estrogen and I can't fucking handle that. I used to go to a great hardcore place in Lockport. It was in this old shitty warehouse and it was exactly what I was looking for. Until the fateful day when a granola-breathed creep that was teaching yoga in the newly constructed aerobics room came up to me and told me that when I dropped the weights on the ground it was making it difficult for his "students" to concentrate. Are Ya Fucking Kidding Me? Bye-bye!!!!
I thought to myself when I pulled his heart out of his puny, pathetic, underdeveloped chest how easy that had just went and if only he actually ate read meat like a fucking man and lifted some weights maybe his stupid little bitch ass wouldn't be lying in a 140 lb. little fag pile on the floor in front of me. What is it these days with the little fucking pussies that fucking prance around in their size zero girl jeans and their cum-filled hairstyles? I'll be so much happier when I'm dead.