I Need A Haircut

My fat pasty stupid head looks like shit. I haven't shaved my head for awhile and now I look like I belong in a home for the mentally challenged. I am a waterhead who is walking amongst the rest of society pretending to be one of the regular folk. I need to go buy some diapers to keep myself from soiling my stonewashed jeans with the elastic waists. I also need to get some plastic kids car keys because I keep putting real car keys in my mouth and I feel sick from swallowing the blood thats leaking down my throat from my cut gums. I like to spend my evenings smelling my farts and smashing my stupid face into the wall in my living room.