New Year Same Old Shit

With the dawn of 2009 shining into my foul-smelling and poorly furnished apartment, I ask myself what could possibly change for the better in this shitty world I live in? After just eating a grease injected lunch at an "authentic" Greek restaurant and proceeding to shit it out a mere 20 minutes later, I wallow in my memories of poor life choices and find myself fervently depressed.

Today is Thursday January 1st and it is a balmy 18 degrees on a sunny afternoon. I did not go out last night to partake in the swilling of alcoholic drinks with people that could care less if i died. I sat on my brown (read: fucking ugly) couch and ate a pile of carbohydrate-rich food and washed it down with the domestic light beer that was from my near empty refrigerator. With my already horrible metabolism and piss-poor genetics, I awoke this morning another step closer to being completely unattractive. Don't get me wrong I am still capable of finding stupid-ass women to make a poorly thought out leap into my fart-scented bedroom for an evening of mediocre physical contact. But, I have noticed lately that at the age of 26 that the back fat and umbilical donut are becoming much more stubborn and resilient then in years past. I have so many things to do today that include; paying fines that I have accumulated over the span of the past year, a large and filthy smelling pile of dirty laundry that starts next to my bed and stops down in the basement next to my silent washer and dryer, overdue scheduled vehicle maintenance of my vehicle that I don't want anymore but am still making payments on, and dozens of additional tasks that are just as unpleasant. Why don't I just run out in front of a fast-moving garbage truck you ask? Hmmm, good question!

I currently work for my father who has done a tremendous job at creating a successful general contracting company. (It is at this point that I notice how disgusting my dirt and oil encrusted keyboard is. Well, thats never getting cleaned.) Working for my father pays me a more than decent wage and I owe him for putting up with my self-destructive behavior and long list of fuck ups. But I have always felt that I am one of those people thats destined for greatness. I have also felt that if I was taller, smarter, better looking, more motivated, better organized, and more endowed, that I would be the worlds greatest professional football playing doctor that does adult films. Please everyone I have been diagnosed with ADD and haven't taken my medicine for some time now. Seriously.
Tomorrow morning I will drive out to my father's shop and jump into one of his work trucks that carries a 100 gallon diesel fuel pump in the back of it. I will then drive out to one of his job sites to fuel up the generator and heavy equipment that is being used there. Now I must be let onto the fenced-in work area by a woman who works for the environmental services company that oversees our work to ensure we properly remove the contaminated soil from the ground (the site is an old gas station). I don't find this women who I will call Safety Vest, to be particularly attractive. I do know that she is married and has a young son with her husband. This reason I bring Safety Vest up is because even though I don't think she is hot or anything, I still want her to get sopping wet over the mere notion of my presence. Tell me thats not fucked up! I started noticing back in high school that I had this need to have women want to fuck me more than anyone else even when I didn't even want to sleep with them! Safety Vest falls into this category. If this is something that other people do please tell me because I haven't found anyone yet who shares this sad, desperate quality with me. OK enough of that shit.
In addition to to the already mentioned employment with the family business, I have a completely scatter-shot job history that proves my inability to just stick to one fucking job and move towards the future. My absolute favorite job without a doubt was my stint as a bouncer at a Buffalo-area strip club.
Now, if you want to find out the do's and dont's for working at a strip club, please get out your notebooks because this is where I pick up my next post from. Happy New Year. Kill Yourself.